Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
