reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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