i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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