If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When are your genitals available?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
