dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
