Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
