It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
