The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
