Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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