Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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