I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
