This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
