he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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