So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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