You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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