We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
