is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
