I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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