i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
