After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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