God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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