I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
