I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She needs sedatives and a leash
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
