me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
