i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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