Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
