I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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