I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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