I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
