I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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