Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
