If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
