Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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