don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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