so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You can't special order awesome
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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