Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
