I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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