No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
