I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
