he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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