Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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