is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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