Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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