quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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