In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
