I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
