and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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