No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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