I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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