Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
