So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
