Small penises have feelings too.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
